I talk to myself almost constantly when left in my own company. I always imagined I kind of whispered to myself but both my family and friends that I’ve lived with have commented that they often hear me chatting away quite loudly, and have assumed that I’m on the phone. Nope, just crazy me. I know that most people at some point or another have talked to themselves, maybe repeating things out loud or talking through something that they’re doing, but my conversations with myself are a whole new ball game. I laugh at myself, ask myself questions which I then answer, I argue various points as though I’m in a debate with someone. It’s thinking out loud on another level.
Throughout the years I’ve wondered why I do it so much. My dad also talks to himself a lot so maybe it’s genetic. He used to say, “It’s the only way I can have a sensible conversation around here”, which is obviously such a dad joke, but in a way I agree with him. I talk to myself most – as in have a real conversation with myself, not just the average muttering that other people do – when I’m thinking about a lot of things at once. I feel like I have to say my thoughts out loud or I won’t be able to make sense of them, or get them in order somehow. Not to get too amateur psychologist on myself, but I think it feels like if I don’t say something that’s important or significant when it’s in my mind then it will slip away and I won’t have cemented it into reality by vocalising it. When I thought (said) this the other day I had a mild panic that it happens because I’m not clever enough to hold multiple thoughts at one time. I have since decided that I should get over myself and carry on down the path of madness this will inevitably lead to.